Back to Mundania
by Vecks
Summary: Magic is fluxing in Xanth. A group must travel to Mundania to stop it, but the only people who can go, are the ones that have been there before. 1st fic, R&R plz.
1. Xanth In trouble?

"Drink your milk, Dor," said Millie the ghost, who was his governess while his parents  
Bink and Chameleon were away. King Trent trusted them, and anyone the King trusted was  
bound to be away for long periods of time. But, Millie wasn't a ghost anymore, she was returned  
to life at the time of Dor's birth, 20 years ago.  
After a few minutes of eating, Irene, the princess, walked in. She had come for what  
seemed an unexpected visit. But Dor surely was expecting her.  
"Hi Dor!" she said with unusual excitement.  
"Hey, a beautiful day out isn't it? It's nice for a swim," Dor replied. It was their annual  
"swim in the moat day" started when he was sixteen, and she fifteen. "You are absolutely right,  
dear."  
"There she goes with that 'dear' stuff again," said Grundy the golem, who used to be  
made out of string and clay. But had done something to become real, "I can't believe you let her  
reel you in like that, Dor. Agreeing to marry her while you were in a dungeon. It's so stone-  
aged."  
He was right, they had missed a "swim in the moat day" once, because they were off in  
Mundania where there is no magic, and magic talents didn't work. They were there trying to save  
King Trent and Queen Iris from the terrible Mundanians that imprisoned him.  
"I had almost forgotten that grim day when she..."  
"Dor! Grim day?" Irene exclaimed.  
"I was teasing you, you know that. I'll never regret that day, I never have," Dor said.  
"Blah, blah, blah. Just go jump in a moat! I have better things to do than to sit here  
listening to you two reminisce about Mundania," that was Grundy's attitude towards life.  
They happily went to the castle. "You first, Dor," Irene insisted. He jumped in and soaked  
Irene with water, he laughed at her. "That's not funny!" She jumped in and started swimming  
towards him.  
"Do you remember the first time this happened to us?" Irene wondered. She asked this  
every year, and every year she got the same answer. "Yeah, of course I do. You were making fun  
of my spelling, actually the spelling that your spelling bee gave me. And started going off how the  
great Mundane Bear would come out æbare naked'," Dor said, "Then you kept teasing me about  
it and I said 'Bare, bare, bare!' and I ripped your suit down. I could never forget."  
Irene replied, "Yeah, but then my vine pulled you in, and I ripped your pants off to get  
back at you." She laughed, "Then Cherie Centaur rode up on us."  
"When your father called me to speak with him I thought I was in serious trouble..."  
Just then, Irene's hair lost its green tinge. And Dor looked to the inanimate for answers as  
usual.  
"Wall, what happened?" Dor asked, no reply. "Wall! What happened!?" He had lost his  
magic ability, or so he thought.  
" I thought I could find you here, Dor. The magic in our world seems to be fluxing. Xanth  
is merging with Mundania!" said Arnolde, the magic catalyst. He was actually a centaur, but his  
gift was a continuous line of magic in all directions, his ability never faded.  
"Dor, you have to do something, I don't want to lose my talent...Or my green tinge,"  
Irene exclaimed.  
Dor could only reply, "I don't know what to do, dear. You know your tinge is very  
important to me." He was teasing her, but Irene didn't feel that way.  
"Stop with the romance story already!" Grundy said as he rode up on Chet centaur, who  
can shrink objects that he touches.  
"Pipe down, ragbrain. Go unravel your string!" Irene responded.  
"Stop it, stinkfinger. I'm a real man now!"  
"It's a green thumb!" said Irene.  
She and Dor got out of the moat, she ran to her bag and grabbed a seed, she grabbed the  
seed of a hypno-gourd plant.  
"Don't make me use this!" shouted Irene.  
Grundy remarked, "Just try it."  
"Grow." She commanded the seed to grow, as was her ability. It seemed like the seed  
tried to sprout. "What? It didn't work!?"  
"Precisely," said Arnolde, "I think we must venture into Mundania once more, and I think  
we should go without consultation. Ne need to worry anyone."  
"I agree, though the King may worry about Irene's disappearance, which would lead him  
into worrying about myself also," said Dor. He was absolutely right, the King had been known to  
worry about things he couldn't explain, and the disappearance of the princess would, in deed, be  
unexplainable.  
"I think we can do it by ourselves. Even though the King will be looking for us," said  
Chet, "We must find out what's making the two worlds merge, and then we must stop it," Chet  
continued on, "I have recently ventured back to Centaur Isle, and they provided us with new  
Centaurian Jackets.  
"Very good, indeed. These will aid us in combat, and bartering, if need be," said Arnolde,  
"These could fetch a great deal of information."  
Irene stood next to Dor, blushing. And then Dor remembered. When they were in  
Mundania for the first time, they were locked up in a dungeon. When the guard asked Irene to  
show them her magical talent, she said that she could not. He took her out of the cell, and tore off  
her jacket, and then her blouse. Dor laughed, because he also remembered what he said to her,  
"Your new outfit is great, but you might want to put this on."  
"What's so funny, Dor?" asked Irene.  
"I just remembered what had happened to my old centaur jacket," he replied, and he gave  
Irene a look that made her whole face turn red. She too, had remembered. They both laughed  
about the dungeon.  
Sigh. "Why can't we just stop with the true love jig for just a few minutes? We really need  
to focus on the problem at hand," said Grundy, annoyed at them, again,  
Irene smiled and said, "Just wait until you meet your prefect match Grundy. Then we'll  
see who really needs to stop with the mushy scenes."  
"Yeah, like that'll ever happen, no one ever falls in love with a golem..."  
"It may happen just yet, Grundy. There may be a few female golems that have returned to  
life..." said Dor. It was true, the Good Magician has given many answers, and therefore had many  
years of work. He charged one year for each answer he gave, he even charged his wife, the  
Gorgon, for asking him to marry her. But he told Dor that it was to get her used to him, and to  
see if she would still want to be married at the end of her one year.  
"Well, maybe so, but I don't want to get my hopes up, or down. So lets just get on with  
this mission, the sooner we leave, the sooner we can come back," said Grundy. 


	2. Goblin Greeting

They started off, heading for the northwest. They were heading toward Ogre Pass, there  
were many safe caves where they could rest for a few days, even though it was a bit out of the  
way.. They traveled all day, occasionally stopping for water and food. Irene went for a fresh  
change of clothes. They all had gone their separate ways for a few minutes.  
"Eeek!" screamed Irene. Dor heard her call and started toward her. He saw her laying on  
the ground, bleeding, and her attackers stood about her. They were goblins, gnarled, small little  
creatures. With twisted faces and un-proportioned limbs. She had been run through with a spear,  
and she had a pretty deep hole in her right side.   
"Magician Dor, we're here to help," said three centaurs, they were armed with swords,  
and bows. They charged the goblins with their swords drawn, the goblins were no match for the  
trained warriors, and could hardly stand their own ground. They were from a noble breed of War  
Horses, and Mundane warriors. They were clearly born for battle. They slashed into their  
opponents with great skill, parrying attacks as if they were nothing. One of their swords glinted in  
the sun, but the glorious shimmer was brought to a dull glow. He had stained his sword with the  
blood of a goblin.  
"You cannot fly away little thing," said Smash to one of the goblins, "You will die with  
big sting!" Blood sprayed into the air with an unbearable stench, and the battle was won.  
"Magician Dor, I am Xerald, these are my comrades Quartz and Vecks," said one of the  
centaur warriors, and each waved with the mention of their names. "We must aid your fallen  
companion. There is a nearby healing spring, which runs off into a river. If we clean the wound  
with water from the river, it will surely heal, with great haste I might add," said Xerald.   
"Okay Xerald, but we must hurry, I don't want her dying before we get back...," or any  
other time in the near future, Dor added mentally  
"So she is a loved one?" asked Xerald, "Then we must, indeed, hurry."  
They raced to the river of healing, but had forgotten anything to carry the water in.  
Luckily, there were many hypno-gourds that had fallen off a nearby plant, Xerald knew exactly  
how to use this to their advantage..  
"Quartz, bring me a gourd, but do not look into it," said Xerald.  
"I'm no fool, Xerald. I know of the gourd's enchantment," replied Quartz, annoyed.  
Xerald began to hollow out a gourd with his sword, specifically taking out the gourd's eye, so as  
not to be hypnotized. When he had finished, he dipped the gourd into the healing river and filled it  
to the brim.  
"Let's go, the enchantment only lasts for a little while, when away from it's natural  
source," said Xerald with a feint sign of worry. "We must get this back to your companion, and  
we must hurry." "Okay, but please be careful, this may be the only chance Irene has...," said Dor,  
with deep concern. They traveled nearly a half an hour to get back to Irene, only a few drops had  
been spilled. Xerald had excellent balance, even when galloping at full speed.   
When they had finally reached her, Dor cried out, "Irene! I'm here, darling. I can help  
you." He ripped a strip of cloth off of his shirt, and soaked it in the water from the healing river.  
At first it seemed to have no effect, but then when the blood was cleaned, and dirt had been  
removed, her wound healed almost instantly.  
"She will need rest now," said Xerald, "The water from the river speeds her body's  
healing factor, which takes energy." "Amazing, truly amazing," said Arnolde. He had watched the  
effect from the water, "Maybe we should get our hands on more of this water." "The enchantment  
only lasts a short time Arnolde, so we can't take any with us," added Xerald. "Yeah, you heard  
him, no enchantment, no healing, got it grandpa?" Grundy remarked. 


	3. A Female Swordsperson?

Smash had left Irene to look for a bed bug, and Chet had gone looking for a healing plant.  
They had no idea Dor was already back, and Irene's wound had healed. "Look what me found  
aloft," Smash pointed to a tree, "This bug make bed very soft." He started the bed bug on making  
a bed for Irene, then Chet came back. "I found no elixir Arnolde I..." Chet stopped in mid-  
sentence, "Oh, it seems as if she has already been healed. I was able to locate a pillowplant." With  
that, he fluffed the pillow, and propped Irene up, so as not to lose circulation to her wound.   
Once the bed had been set in place, Dor picked Irene (and the pillow) up, and laid her to rest.  
The bed was big enough for both of them, so Dor got on, and dozed off. He awoke about an hour  
later, "Thanks for the dream, stupid nightmares...," Dor said. "Oh, don't be so hard on them, Dor,  
they're just doing their job," replied Irene who had also awoken. "You're alive!" shouted Dor.  
"Of course I am silly, I wouldn't leave you alone in this..." Her voice was muffled beneath the  
most passionate kiss Dor had ever delivered. It was long, and enjoyable for both of them. It was  
the kind of kiss you get when you ask your loved one to marry you, only that had already been  
done between those two. He was simply glad she was alive, æIf those centaurs hadn't shown  
up...No, stop thinking about that Dor' he thought to himself.  
"Dor, the others may be watching," said Irene.  
"So what, let them look. I should be proud of you, and I'll kiss you even if they do look. I  
love you, and if they don't understand that, well, that's too bad for them," replied Dor, with  
concern. He looked around to make sure no one was watching, just to be sure of himself.  
"Well, I guess you're right, so they can look all they want, as long as you never leave me,"  
she said. "Consider it done, I'd never leave you anyway. I'm in love."  
They moved themselves from the comfortable bed, and went to join their companions.  
They were well refreshed, and were ready to start their journey towards Ogre Pass. When they  
neared their friends, al they heard we loud snoring sounds, and a few words. Smash was th one  
snoring, and all of the centaurs were sleep-talking, a common trait.  
"We'd better not wake them," said Dor, "They look so peaceful when they're asleep." He  
smiled towards Irene. "Maybe we should scout ahead, just to be sure there is no danger," he  
continued, "If there is, we'll simply scream." Again he smiled towards Irene, who smiled back She  
screamed a lot, maybe because she thought proper girls to be so, but she realized that she was no  
longer a girl, she was a woman. "If there is danger, we'll try to protect our friends from it. I need  
to learn how to fight, for my own protection," she said. "I can teach you, but we'd only be able to  
practice while the others are sleeping. We'll be mostly on the road, and it would look strange for  
me to be training a... woman in swordplay." He thought this was a good idea, but it would look  
silly to be training a girl. "Okay, but if they can see me kissing you, why can't they see you  
training me?" she asked. It was a good question, "You're right, Irene. This is how I can pay you  
back," he started. "Pay me back for what?" she asked. "For making me the happiest man alive," he  
replied.  
They began to train. Dor had cut makeshift wooden swords for practice. They would have  
to get her a real one soon enough. Irene was showing unexpected aggressiveness. "Good, you're  
a valiant fighter," Dor said. Then a twist and into the heart, he'd have been dead if they were real  
swords, and he knew it. "Wow, you sure showed me. You sure you haven't had your father  
training you?" asked Dor, with a hint of curiousness. "No, he has been, but I've never been able  
to do that before. I guess you're not as good of a fighter as I thought. I don't know if I want to  
marry someone who can't protect me." She smiled, her teeth shined in the dawning sun.  
"Uunnghh," moaned everyone as they awoke. "Me want to eat, need monster to beat,"  
Smash rhymed, of course. "Well, you're not going to get any monsters around here, This place  
looks pretty barren," said Arnolde. "Me find food, me in the mood," Smash replied. He was  
obviously very hungry, and no one would oppose a hungry ogre, especially in Xanth. "Alright,  
we'll go along," said Chet, "We need to search for food as well. I think we should be on the move  
towards Ogre Pass, if there are any monsters, they'd be near here."  
With that they set out once more, towards Ogre Pass. Smash had taken the lead,  
considering he was the most formidable of the group. " I think I may have stumbled on a theory,"  
said Arnolde, "I believe that the magic is, indeed, fluxing, but since the healing elixir had worked,  
the magic was here all of yesterday. I believe that the magic seems to fade for a few hours, then  
return. It seems to have happened only every other day since we began our quest. Because there  
were times, I noticed, that Irene's hair had gone...bland."  
"Okay, so it happens every other day, and only for a few hours, but what if the problem  
evolves to everyday for a few hours. Then to every hour for a few minutes? It's got to be  
stopped," the first thing Grundy had said that was intelligent this whole trip. 


	4. Another Companion

They traveled for hours, and found no kind of food. So Irene was needed once again. "Irene,   
can you grow us a mixed-fruit bush, and a water plant?" asked Grundy, "We're going to starve  
or thirst to death, stinkfinger, do something!" "Alright, alright, hold your Night Mares," replied  
Irene, annoyed at the golem, "And stop calling me stinkfinger, imp, I have a green thumb." He  
already knew this, but it was in Grundy's nature to criticize people no matter what the   
circumstance.   
She set out growing the plants. Within a few minutes, she was finished and they all   
feasted on pineapples, cherries, oranges, and greatfruit, which is the biggest type of fruit know  
to Xanth. "Thanks, Irene. We all needed that pick-me-up, and I'm guessing we needed it   
soon," Dor said. He looked to his companions who nodded approvingly. "Look at them,   
they're full of fruit, bunch of fruit-sucking spoonfaces, they hogged it all," Grundy   
exclaimed, "I got absolutely nothing out of it, except for a cherry." "Very well, Grundy, I'll   
grow a smaller bush for you, what would you like?" she asked with a touch of sarcasm  
in her voice. "I think I want a few more of those cherries, the one I had was delicious."  
She grew him a mini-cherry tree, it was only about a foot tall, but had many small cherries for  
Grundy. After they all had their share to eat and drink, they set out for Ogre Pass once again.   
Chet informed them of a nearby spring where they could safely rest for awhile. So they   
changed course slightly, and were now headed towards the isthmus. They had originally set   
out for Ogre Pass because they intended to get to Mundania by sea.   
"Help!" cried a small voice. "Who's there!?" Dor asked, "Keep shouting, we'll   
follow your voice." "I'm over here, by the Tangle Tree!" shouted the voice. "Smash, help  
her, you can destroy the Tangler," said Irene, "You must!" "Me think so, so me go," said   
Smash. He hurled himself at the Tangler, who struck at him violently with its tentacles; Smash   
avoided one, but got stung by another. He swung his gauntleted fist at the tree and took a   
sizeable amount of its bark and wood away. Smash looked like he was having an interesting   
time, destroying the tree. The Tangler had begun to wrap its tentacles around Smash, trying   
to crush him with its strength. But everyone knew that a full-grown Ogre can take a large   
Tangler, and this one wasn't very big at all. Smash ripped off all of the tentacles, this rendered  
the Tangler helpless. He looked around and spied a fairy, who could've really been threatened  
by the Tangler.   
"Thank you, noble Ogre," said the fairy. He picked her up and went back towards   
his friends. She told them her story, "And when it hit my wing, I fell. I took a drastic fall, and   
cried for help, and then this amazing being came to my rescue." "Me just look for fight, had a   
rough night," replied Smash. Obviously he was looking for a good fight, because he became   
angry last night, and needed to get it out of him. "Well, I'm sorry you didn't have a good time   
fighting that Tangler, Smash. But you did save this fairy, uh." said Dor. "Lorie, my name is Lorie," said the fairy. 


	5. A Night in the Caves

"My name is Dor, these are my friends: Smash, Grundy, Chet, and Arnold," said Dor.  
"And what about the lady, Dor?" asked Lorie. "Yeah, what about the lady?" repeated Irene. "I was just  
about to introduce you, this is Princess Irene, my fiance. You see, I'm soon to be King and I needed to  
be married to rule, so I picked up the first girl I saw and--" "The first girl you saw? You're such an  
insensitive jerk sometimes, Dor. I don't know why I ever asked you to marry me in the first place," Irene  
interrupted. "Kidding, dear. Only kidding," Dor said. "Well, it wasn't very funny,Dor," Irene said.   
They set out towards the Isthmus once again. 'I wonder why I'm always saying stuff like that,'  
Dor thought, 'I really should stop, I love her, but it's funny to see her reactions.' Irene gave him a quick  
glance, and smiled. 'I think she likes to hear me say stuff like that too, it gives her a reason to yell at me,'  
Dor laughed at the thought. They kept going until nightfall, and found three caves, all were relatively safe.  
They inspected each one, and decided that each was big enough for two people. Then they went to  
sleep. Dor was with Irene, Smash with Grundy, and Arnolde with Chet. "Oh great, I get to room with  
the big smelly Ogre, why me?" Grundy complained. "Shut you trap, or you me will snap," Smash replied,  
annoyed with the golem. "Chet and I will probably do a bit of research, and try to figure out a plan to  
save Xanth." said Arnold.  
Irene went in her cave and lied down with Dor. She rested her head on his lap and fell asleep.  
Dor was propped up against a wall with his shirt for a pillow. 'I'm glad Irene did ask to marry me. I think  
she'll make a great queen.' He smiled.  
Dor awoke in a graveyard, surrounded by zombies and skeletons. They inched towards him step  
by step, he wondered how he got there. Then he realized, 'Stupid Night Mares. Why did they choose  
tonight to give me a bad dream?' He reached for his sword and drew it. He was fending off the zombies  
with great skill, he had been practicing his swordsmanship for the past four years. His sworded glinted in  
the moonlight. He was ducking, stabbing, spinning, slashing. He had become a real warrior, a very  
talented one at that. He was chopping zombies in pieces. Dismembering skeletons, but he could not  
keep this up for long, he was tiring at a dizzying rate.  
He awoke in the arms of Irene, wondering how he had gotten into this position. "You're finally  
awake. You were having a bad dream," said Irene. "Yeah, I know. It was horrible, but I did get to slice  
a few skeletons here and there," replied Dor. They walked out of their cave, and saw that no one else  
had awoke yet. " Let's go train you. You have to potential of being a great fighter you know," said Dor.  
Irene nodded and they were off. They drew their practice swords and began to fight. Dor wa shouting  
tips to Irene as the battle was ongoing. Irene parried a thrust, and sliced him across the stomach. Dor  
pretended to do what any other warrior had done. He fell to his knees so Irene could go for the final  
blow. She stopped and laughed, "I guess I'm a better swordsman than you thought, huh?" "Yeah, got  
me again." 


	6. ABetrayal, BKidnapping, C Death, D All o...

Dor and Irene kept practicing until dawn, when their companions awoke. Irene looked out of the main cave, and saw that the sun was a brilliant red color. It comforted those who awoke with  
warmth. "It's beautiful, Dor. Come and see!" Irene said. "Okay, coming." He also saw the brilliance of the red sun. "You don't see that very often, do you?" asked Dor. "Never before have I seen it," replied Irene.  
"I believe it to be an illusion," said Arnolde as he woke. "What do you mean, Arnolde, my mother never uses her magic anymore," replied Irene. "Not an illusion of magic, but of science.  
The red glowing of the sun is the way it hits the atmosphere. If it wasn't at the correct angle at the perfect time, it would look normal gold," Arnolde concluded. "Me no understand, it still look   
bland," Smash said as he awoke. "I agree with Gigantus over there," said Grundy. "I find it to be amazing," Chet muttered.  
After they all awoke, Smash and Chet set out for hunting. They heard a Gryphon's squall in the distance. "Me kill beast, then we feast."   
With that, Chet and Smash went on, looking for their prey. An hour of so later, they found it. The Gryphon also spotted them.Smash rose, towering over the Gryphon. He charged the monster with his gauntleted fist. The monster avoided him, and countered his attack with a savage claw. Smash's arm was slashed, and he could not use it.   
Chet then raged into battle against the monster. He charged him with his sword, severing one wing so that it could not fly away. It gave a screech of pain and anger. The monster ran at Chet, who was vulnerable for the moment. Smash intercepted the Gryphon and sent his fist flying toward the creature.   
The Gryphon fell, and could not get up, he was beaten. Chet moved in for the final blow. He raised his sword, blade-side down. He struck the beast, they had won. Smash took the front end of the Gryphon while Chet carried the other. They took it back to the caves.  
"We're back!" announced Chet. Nobody came. "Hello?" he questioned, still no answer. The warriors set the creature down, and entered the caves. They saw no sign of anyone being there. It was obvious that Vecks, Quartz, and Xerald had departed some time ago. "Perhaps they went to find a spring for fresh water?" asked Chet. They ventured into the caves, and found Grundy lying on the floor.   
"They...took them..." mumbled Grundy. "Who take who?" asked Smash. "The warriors...took Arnolde...and Irene..." said Grundy. "I-I don't believe it!" shouted Chet, with anger. "They saved us, then kidnapped them" said Chet. "Yes...betrayed by them...Dor...took off after them..." mumbled Grundy. "We need find Dor, maybe live no more," said Smash. "You're right Smash, we'll search for them."  
Smash's arm was hurt, and he grimaced with pain every once in a while. "We need to find a healing spring," said Chet, "We'll need you two in top-shape for the upcoming battle. They veered west, searching for a healing spring. Two hours had passed, and the search continued. "I think I hear the ripples of a small creek, off that way," Chet pointed southward. Soon they were upon the creek, and they spied a friendly face.  
"Dor!" shouted Chet. "You found me, I'm so glad," replied Dor, "They took Irene, and Arnolde, we should never have trusted those...those..." started Dor. "Horse-rumps? Hoofheads?" questioned Grundy. He always had to insult someone. "Yeah, no offence Chet," muttered Dor. "None taken. But have you questioned this spring? It is a healer?" asked Chet. "Yes I have, and yes it is." 


End file.
